Very few of us seem happy today. So many seeming to be chasing one “thing” or another that we are made to believe will make us happy. Lots of us are not sure if there was any time in our lives where we were truly happy, other than the occasional momentary happiness that comes with a pleasant surprise. Momentary and fleeting happiness is not really happiness at all, it is an emotion more closely related to excitement than happiness. Given the apparent lack of happiness, the question before us is “Is it possible to become happy”?
Such a question is intriguing for lots of different reasons. It indicates a loss of direction and self confidence, two very important qualities on which true happiness depends. The question also indicates an awareness in the overwhelming prevalence of emotions that are something less than true happiness. Finally, simply asking the question betrays the true impetus behind the question. Of course happiness is possible; the real quandary is how to achieve it and why it seems so elusive
Happiness is the basic motivation behind human existence. If we are happy, then we are either fulfilled or working towards fulfillment. Fulfillment is the key to happiness. Unfortunately for humans but very fortunately for humanity, fulfillment means something different to each and every one from the billions of us on the planet.
A key to fulfillment is interpersonal relationships. The additional relationships we have, the better our chances at happiness. In our mad chasing of material dreams, we have forgotten how to even be civil to our neighbors. When was the last time you spoke to your neighbor with anything more than a wave of your hand? There was a time not long ago, when a new neighbor moving in was an event that would cause existing neighbors to welcome the new member towards the area. Now, we rarely know our neighbor’s names, and a new neighbor is just an opportunity to discover out what homes within the area are selling for.
Through intensive marketing, the mass media has confused most of us as to what self fulfillment and happiness are. We have come to think that others’ desires must be our desires, when really they’re normally unrelated. We have confused our herd mentality, that of conforming to those around us, with the need to become just like all in the others around us. Our herd mentality allows us to make life easier in those areas that are not important to us. If style is not vitally important to us, we look at what others are generally wearing for clues as to what to wear. We look to those around us to see how to act in public in various settings and situations. We get an idea in the “best” products to buy by what others have purchased. The herd mentality should not dictate what we do or have, but simply make decision making easier for us in those areas of life that may not be so important as individuals. We have to get dressed before we go out for th! e day, so we generally wear what others are wearing in our vicinity. In the west, men wear pants and a shirt. These things are readily available. Men do not have to hunt for them. Men who are not overly concerned with fashion can and should dispense with the expense of name brands if an equivalent choice is available. However, if fashion is your passion, then purchase that especially well-made, name brand item that is the latest in style. But buy it because the item speaks to you that it fits your fashion sense, is well made, and to you is truly worth the extra money, not because you feel you need to be like the rest in the crowd of supposedly fashionable folks.
We have confused our “need to conform” into thinking we need to be exactly like those around us. This is where we need the confidence to go our own way when our desires dictate. We do not have to have the latest fashion trend. Living in a McMansion is not necessary. Spending cash on a new automobile every couple of years is contrary to what we know is in our best interests, and indeed the best interests of the planet. The associated stress with making the payments and knowing that with just a little more self confidence we could stay clear of the extra expense ultimately makes us unhappy. The momentary excitement that we feel when we drive an expensive new car off from the dealer’s lot, which we mistake for happiness, ultimately can become a key component in our unhappiness. Yet, without some self confidence, we will put all of our efforts into keeping up with what we perceive everyone else to be doing, even though we know they’re not any ne! cessarily happy.
It is very evident that “stuff” doesn’t make us happy. With all from the wealth that has been created within the last couple of decades, lots of people should be very happy. Wealthy people and rich countries seem to become the unhappiest. The poorest countries, as measured by per capita income, consistently are the happiest according to the World Happiness Survey conducted by London School of Economics.
All we need to do to be happy is to listen to that little voice of reason that is constantly talking to us but being drowned out by the marketing din so pervasive today. Let your passions dictate a lot more of your life, do not let Madison Avenue decide for you. It is not practical for most of us to turn our passions into our career, but whatever your passion is, work at it just a little every day, ignore all of the outside din telling us what we ought to do, be or purchase. If happiness is not the norm, what is the point?
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